The Storm Rider’s Almanac: Page 103 By Amy Axby / by Elisabeth Cooper

One time 

I spread my wings

and flew across the world,

Dorothy riding her tornado stallion

all the way to Wonderland. 

When I got there 

I defied gravity

on the Roller Coaster of Doom,

and, oh, what the hell,

I cut my hair.

Tip:  Do you know that you should 

watch out when a woman does that—

The Big Chop?

It’s a clue. 

Hark, listen up now!

She is fixin’ to go 


and if you look too long

into those black eyes, Susan,

she will take you with her,

right down that rabbit hole.

But let’s 

be sure to

be clear:

I didn’t fall,

I jumped. 

I took the long way down,

and I heard demons there,

and I saw them too

as they slithered their way 

behind my back

and stabbed me with their silvery tongues. 

But sometimes you let them do it,

don’t you?

You let them have their way with you,

because you love the ones that kissed you

with demons in their mouths. 

I met the King and all his minions

and the Queen 

with her red hearts for eyes. 

She loved me, it’s true, 

but she was mad as a hatter. 

I grew a lion’s mane. 

A good trim on a 

Super Full Wolf Blood Moon 

will do that,

but only if you believe it. 

I grew a lion’s heart too.

I didn’t know a haircut could do that, 

but I guess I should have. 

And the Mind of the Universe,

it shrunk itself

and curled up in my hand

like a golden kitten. 

The next thing I knew 

I had new shoes on my feet 

that burned like fire 

in a good way. 

The tag read “Home Sweet Home,”

behind a picture 

of the sweetest smiling 

blue-eyed man—

The brand, I guess, 

but I’d never heard of it. 

I contorted myself,

my lands,

you should have seen it,

so I could rest my head 

on those shoes, 

and I slept like the dead. 

And when I rose again,

I laughed like a baby,

nestled in a treetop. 

By Amy Axby